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Dating Violence Paper Michael Walden & John Mellen Dating violence is a major problem in the world. Dating violence happens for a number of reasons. One out of three women will experience dating violence of some sort in their lifetime. One of the best things to do if you or a friend is experiencing dating violence is to tell another person. The best way to prevent dating violence is to promote awareness of the subject, tell other people about it, and help people who have already experienced dating violence get it off their mind. As this problem gets bigger and bigger every year we need to take more and more action to stop it before it gets out of control. What can cause dating violence? One of the major causes is when young men feel pressured to control their partners in order to gain respect from their peers. In one study, from 30 to 50 percent of female high school students reported having already experienced they have to control their partners in order to gain respect from peers. Some men who think “they are not getting enough” will start to demand it from there partner and will sometimes use physical force. These are many signs that you can look for such as extreme jealousy, controlling behavior, Quick involvement, Unpredictable mood swings, Alcohol and drug use, Explosive anger, Isolates you from friends and family, Uses force during an argument, Shows hypersensitivity, Believes in rigid sex roles, Blames others for his problems or feelings, Cruel to animals or children, Verbally abusive, Abused former partners and Threatens violence. Statistics: About one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. Forty percent of teenage girl’s ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age that has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. In most cases of teen dating violence the violence occurs in the house of one of the people involved in the abusive relationship, seven percent of the murder cases involved some form of dating violence. One in five or 20 percent of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship. One of five of the women in colleges will experience some form of dating violence in their lifetime. A survey of 500 women from high school and college it was noticed that 60 percent were currently involved in an ongoing abusive relationship and all participants had experienced violence in a dating relationship. One study found that 38 percent of date rape victims were young women from 14 to 17 years of age. A survey conducted shows that More than half of the women raped knew the rapist formerly as a friend or relative. Sixty percent of rapes occur in a friend, relative or their own home not in some dark alley or abandoned building. In order to stop dating violence a number of steps must be taken. The first thing you can do is to raise awareness of the problem if the level of awareness is raised people will be able to recognize the signs of dating violence and be able to help the people who are experiencing this problem. Also we must educate teenagers, since most cases happen to teens, about the dangers of date violence and the importance of choosing the right person. There are many kinds of dating violence but the most prominent is date rape. On of the largest form of this is called drug-influenced-date-violence. This is when a drug is added to a drink or food item so that the victim doesn’t know that they have been drugged. These drugs normally include a feeling of drunkenness and not being able to remember what happened. There are many kinds of these drugs; one of the most prominent is rohypnol. These drugs normally come as a white powder or clear liquid to mix into drinks so they cannot be seen. Same sex date rape and violence is also a major problem. When a homosexual is in a abusive relationship it is harder to get help because in our society homosexuals are oppressed so if a homosexual goes to get help from the wrong person the homosexual may be mental or physically abused by this person. This plus the daily oppression they face makes it very stressful for the person being abused. A healthy relationship includes many things. Taking care of yourself and having self confidence both are signs of a good relationship. Focusing on only making your partner happy and trying to change yourself both are signs of a bad relationship. Normally when signs of a bad relationship show one of the members may begin to become violent against the other. Another large portion of dating violence occurs when the two are not together. There are many cases where a girl or woman dating someone would get a lot of text messages in a single day, in one case 500. These texts normally contain messages like “you know you want me” or “you can’t live without me” some even say that they will kill the person and many have done just this. This is bolstered by the fact that texts cannot be tracked as easily as letters or phone calls and are much more private. If dating violence ever happens to you the best thing to do is to call the police and/or tell someone else, preferable one of your close friends. The most important thing is that you do not keep it to yourself. If you keep it to yourself the problem is just going to escalate until it cannot be stopped. You need to tell somebody who takes importance in your life. There are so many scary stories out there. We found this website that’s all about people who are ready to share there stories. “II remember waking up in the middle of the night screaming in fear. This is because my stepfather would come into my room and penetrate me with his fist. I would wake up in shock and start screaming because i was confused about what was going on. He would then stand at my door with a towel wrapped around him asking me what was wrong just as if nothing had ever happened to me. I felt like I was going crazy. I made myself believe that nothing had ever happened and that perhaps the feelings I experienced were nothing more than extremely bad nightmares...I can't stop the nightmares. Every time we went for drives in his car the fear of god would rush through my body but when I got home I would wander why I was worried about going in the car with him. I know now that is called disassociation, yet why do I feel like I am still going crazy” says Victoria. Date violence and rape are huge in this country and we need to address it before it gets way out of control. Most people don’t know very much about this subject and we need to educate people. Then we need to stop this problem. Its already a huge problem, lets not make it bigger. . ACADV, Rose Haven, Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence Advocacy Program of Family Resources, and Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence. "Dating Violence." ACADV. ACADV. Web. 3 Dec. 2010. < [] >. This is a great website. Has a lot of statistics and it is simplified so everyone can understand it. I will defiantly use it. It is a .org that is devoted to educating people. Its a easy to use website. 2. Dancing In The Darkness. "Dancing In The Darkness." Rape and Sexual Abuse Survivors - Dancing In The Darkness. Dancing In The Darkness. Web. 03 Dec. 2010. < [] >. This is a great website for seeing stories from people that are willing to talk about it. This is a great website to put some examples and quotes into our project. This website is full of stories about dating violence from people who are ready to talk about their own stories. 3. "Teen Dating Violence | LIVESTRONG.COM." LIVESTRONG.COM - Health, Fitness, Lifestyle | LIVESTRONG.COM. Web. 03 Dec. 2010. < [] >. this is a kind of guideline for teens to avoid being abused on dates. one example of what it says is that a good idea is to double date the first few times. this is a god website that tells you how to avoid the dangers of dating violence. 4. "What Is Dating Violence? | Break the Cycle." Break the Cycle | Empowering Youth to End Dating Violence. Web. 03 Dec. 2010. < [] >. this is a good website because it has a lot of diagrams that show the process and what it does to people. it also shows examples of pre-dating violence and dating violence. 5. "Dating Violence." Womenshealth.gov | 800-994-9662. Web. 03 Dec. 2010. < [] >. this is a good website for many reasons. first of all it is a government website so the fact that it is there shows how big this isssue is. also it is written for women to read so there wont be as much bias as there might be with other websites. 6. "Division of Violence Prevention - Dating Violence - NCIPC." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Web. 03 Dec. 2010. < [] >. this is a long list of facts about dating violence. This is a easy to use website with all the possible signs of dating violence and what to do during a dating violence incident. 7. George, Donna St. "Text Messages Become a Growing Weapon in Dating Violence."Washington Post - Politics, National, World & D.C. Area News and Headlines - Washingtonpost.com. Washington Post, 21 June 2010. Web. 06 Dec. 2010. < [] >. This is a great example to show us the ways dating violence and technology have a relationship with each other. Its a amazing to see the problems of texting leading to more dating violence, like stalking or sexual harassment. this is a good website to use in our research. 8. Teen Tools. "Dating Violence." Dating Violence. Teen Tools. Web. 6 Dec. 2010. < [] >. this is a great website to use and it shows you the different steps you can take if you are in an abusive relationship with someone else. 9. Sameer. "Ectronic Dating Violence and Teens – Our 2010 Research Findings." Cyberbullying Research Center. Cyberbullying Research Center, 26 Oct. 2010. Web. 6 Dec. 2010. < [] >. A great website for seeing the number behind electronic dating violence. I will defiantly use this website in my research. 10. "Teen Dating Violence." Office of Attorney General Rob McKenna. Web. 06 Dec. 2010. < [] >. this was a site created to help teens understand and recognize dating violence. it is a .gov with no ads